Do YOU Know How To Drive A Golf Cart?

Today, I am pretty sure that God smacked me upside the head after winding up for about, ehhh six months or so. And then He chuckled to himself about it. I couldn't even be mad. At one point I wanted to actually look up to the sky, wave my finger and say "You're a sneaky fella". Except my life is not a cheesy Nickelodeon tween sitcom so I didn't do that last part. But really, it was like lightbulbs were going off all around my head and God was sending signs left and right that - lo and behold - His plans aren't so bad and things really do work out. He's got the whole "master of the universe" thing figured out and He's got an interesting sense of humor, that's for darn sure.

Week three of being home for the summer and I finally feel settled and completely not at Dayton anymore. Adjusted, is the word I'd like to use. Although I feel as though I've created this alter ego for myself here in Medina; this Emily's room is always clean and organized, she makes lists in her head and then transfers them to post-it notes that decorate her mirror and desk. It's very Unibomber, I'm actually somewhat concerned for myself. But then I rationalized it in my head and this is why I have to be so neat and organized at home and not as much at school - no one is going to touch and move my stuff at school. If I set my keys on the counter in good old M15, I can rest assured that they will be in the exact same location the next time I need them. At Pine Hill, set your keys on the counter and you might not see them for a week. Not because it's ridiculously messy, just because someone thought it'd be a good idea to move them to another counter without mentioning it to the owner of the keys. (You can substitute anything you want for keys in this circumstance, by the way.) So needless to say I learned quickly to put important things in my room, neatly organized. Good Lord, I just re-read this paragraph and if I were reading and not writing this blog, I'd think I was special (eat glue special, not the regular kind of special). I'm blogging about being clean right now. No shame.

In other news, maybe you're wondering what the big lightbulb moment(s) were as mentioned in paragraph one above. And maybe now that I'll sort of explain, you'll be mad because I'm going to be as vague as possible...sorry I'm not sorry. Okay actually, I changed my mind as I started typing and erased three different sentences to start explaining. In a complete nutshell: 1) I was so afraid of having a simple conversation that would have been completely normal 2 years ago. Then today, like I said, God basically told me I was being an idiot for being so scared. In so many words, of course. But basically I felt very at peace with what I want to do and I am READY. Balls to the wall! 2) I read a book about love. I was hesitant to do so because as you may or may not be aware - 2011 is not the year for love. This is not a personal opinion, this is a universal truth. Okay so maybe not universal, but amongst my wide circle of friends, it's true! Anyways, the book just renewed my hope that there are goofy, smart, caring boys who will pursue the good girls in the right way and fight for what they want! Yeah guys, I'm aware it's just a character in a book, but Sarah Dessen doesn't write fluff okay!? DAVE IS REAL, I SWEAR.

Pretty sure I intended on going to bed at least 45 minutes ago. I am pleased to say that I finally start work tomorrow morning, 7 am! Does Medina Parks Department know what is coming with the dream team of Jann and I? 40 hours a week together for the next 2.5 months?! Look out. Medina, your flowers are about to get BFFL-fied. (Like a play on "beautified", in case that wasn't clear, I had high hopes for it but those crumbled once I typed it)

Until next time, go do something crazy. Such as watching a Sister Wives marathon on TLC.

A Year of Firsts

Last Wednesday marked the halfway point of my college career. I've been home for almost a week now, am still working on unpacking, and finally feel ready to write about the year that rocked my world. Oh, and I'm not in Daytona soaking up rays sipping Bud Light Lime on the beach with the rest of UD so I have time to blog in my room in tropical Medina. I'm not bitter! ;)

What a year it was! I learned, I laughed, I loved. (I came, I saw, I conquered?) So I thought what better way to reflect on the 2010-2011 school year than with a list of the things I did for the first time this year... here goes nothing!

1. Cried in front of people. This sounds so lame but that was a big thing for me! All part of the process of letting people in.
2. Went to Tim's. Will I become a Tim's rat next year? Only time will tell...
3. Said no to one good thing to make room for better things in my life. Freedom!
4. Enjoyed the robust flavor of Highlander Grogg coffee. I feel as though this delicious beverage is mentioned in all of my blogs but it's just so good. What was I doing with my life before coffee entered it?!
5. Lived fully in the moment - not all the time, but more than I ever have before. Everyday mantra: "Be where your feet are"
6. Watched Grey's Anatomy. Not only did I watch, I caught up with 7 seasons and became friends with the characters (don't judge!)... All the while I had my best semester grade-wise! Go figure!
7. Worked at 5 am every Friday. Awake at 4:45, roll out of bed, brush teeth, GO!
8. Took a Greyhound. First and last time I'll ever do that.
9. Went to Chicago!
10. Pulled an all-nighter. Relax, I wasn't doing homework...it was Harry Potter 7 premiere night!
11. Baptized someone, I didn't even know I could do that. What a cool moment to share with such a beautiful friend of mine :)
12. Loved. Completely, unapologetically, wholeheartedly. Gave and received it.
13. Drove a UD van.
14. Went 4 days without a shower. I was at the UDSAP house, it's okay!
15. Had friends turn into true family right before my eyes over the course of the year.
16. Had a wife. No biggie.
17. BFFL Breakfast
18. Lived at KU.
19. Lighthouse. And everything that went along with it :)
20. Became Auntie Em!

Such beautiful experiences. Such an unforgettable year. So much to look back on, so much to look forward to! What adventures will be next? Who knows, but I'm more than excited to see what's to come and embrace life with open arms. Hope you are too!

It's the moments that count...

Well, it's Monday morning and - like always - this break from school flew by. Granted, I spent a good chunk of time doing schoolwork (that seemed near impossible! I blame my environment) but the majority of my long weekend was spent laughing with family and friends. And now I'm stepping back to just smile at how lucky I am to be surrounded by so much love and fun.

It's hard to know what to expect when I come home from breaks; I feel like I'm constantly changing and evolving at school, even if it's just internally, and there are only a handful of people who actually see that - my family is not within that handful. Two years into college and I'm only now realizing how different that is from the first 18 years of my life (uhhh durrrr!). When I'm home, I like to do a lot of observing instead of contributing to conversations -- don't get me wrong, I don't become a mute (I'm still Emily!) -- but it's interesting to see what things are important enough to discuss in depth or even argue about. So different than at school! I've pretty much given up on trying to explain Lighthouse and its effects on me, the family and friends at home do understand that it's a HUGE deal to me, but obviously, they'll never get all the intricacies and details and nautical jargon that go along with it. We all have different experiences, so this summer it's my goal to really work on listening to the people around me and hearing about the things that have and continue to shape them.

I had a great time back in good old Medina. I got to spend lots of time with my dad - who, by the way, is still trying to convince me to switch to an engineering degree... I think not! But hanging out with Papa Mike was really great, he's a real hoot. Same goes for Mama Kyle and the rest of the family, always a joy. Andy was missed this weekend, like always, but the emails, Facebook chats, and phone calls bring us as close as can be while still being halfway around the world from each other.

For whatever reason, the evening of Easter is always spent with my best friends. This really has happened since junior year of high school (Desten formation night, holla!) and I don't really know the significance this night but it always ends up being the simplest kind of hang out. We don't turn on the TV, no one has their cell phones fiendishly texting away, we don't even have food! (this year at least, other years are another story -- puppy chow is usually on the menu) We just sit around talking about anything and everything and always end up laughing until we cry, pee our pants, our throats close up, etc. Maybe it has something with the joy of the holiday, God has His hand working through our little group reuniting us and refreshing our friendship that spends 9 months of the year physically separated by hundreds of miles. All I know is I'm so grateful to have such beautiful women in my life and it brings me such comfort to know that no matter where I go, what I do, how I change, I can always come home to those three girls and know that I'm loved.

It's a well-known fact that THE song of Easter in Catholic churches is "Jesus Christ is Risen Today"...you know the one. I know you love it, too. You've probably started to sing it as you're reading this right now. It's become something my dad and I look forward to every year for Easter mass and I'm always afraid when we sing it I'll look over at him and just bust out laughing. Anyways, I love my church, really I do. But when they started singing the Hallelujah Chorus at the end of mass instead of me and Papa H's favorite hymn, you can imagine my disappointment and frustration -- they already sang that at Christmas! What about the people who only come to mass for Christmas and Easter!? They will think the choir has run out of songs in their repertoire and I'm sure they look forward to hearing "Jesus Christ is Risen Today" as much as I do! Granted, the family had a good laugh about this, but rest assured I came right home and blared that song on YouTube so it echoed through our house. We all sang. We're a weird bunch, us Haschers.

Back to the grind - hard to believe I will be officially halfway through my college career in just a week and a half. Leaving Dayton will be bittersweet this year, I feel like I'll be saying goodbye to my family and home for three months...I have the best friends at school, too. So blessed, all the time.

10 things I love about today

10) Well, it's Wednesday. Those have never failed to be my favorite day of the week this semester.
9) I woke up this morning from the deepest sleep. My first thought? "I'm going home today"
8) The toaster was working at the Runway again... Hello, toasted turkey and gouda on sourdough, I've missed you.
7) My lunch date and I took creeping to a whole new level. I'll leave it at that.
6) Ironic pen pal emails. Pretty sure we're on the same brain wavelength.
5) Normalcy where I was afraid it might not be. Praise the Lord, literally.
4) Letting go, letting God.
3) Perfect amounts of cream and sugar in my large Highlander Grogg, today. (1 thing I hate -- I'm facing the next five days without this new obsession, how will I ever survive!?)
2) New Toms! Stonewashed yellow, perfect for summer.
1) I'm about to spend more than 36 hours at the lovely Pine Hill for the first time in three months.

Find something to love and smile about today! It's the little things that count ;)

This is my life!

The Heart of Life is Good

Shake the Dust

I don't really know what this poem means, but I know it's beautiful and powerful and needs to be shared! His voice is like a song that I want to keep listening to over and over again until I know the words by heart and can breathe them like an N'SYNC jam I somehow can sing along to years after learning. Wonderful.

What are you doing today that you can knock off your bucket list? Buying a monkey? Learning French? Think about it. Then get off your butt and go do it! 

Tonight's challenge: Dance hard and be completely free in your own skin. 

Here's to throwing out the rule book...

Five days ago, I had the privilege of participating in the University of Dayton's Relay for Life, during which I walked from the hours of 5 and 7...AM. Sounds miserable, I know, and you're probably thinking "Who in their right mind would sign up for those hours?" This crazy lady right here. And you know what? Thank goodness I did. Those two hours walking alone, chatting it up with the Big Man Upstairs were exactly what I needed to clear my head and heart. The thoughts and ideas that flooded my head during that stretch of walking were comparable to some one might have in the shower - and we all know the best thinking is done in the shower ;) One of my ideas? Starting a blog. Here we go!

Have you ever been completely aware of the blessings in your life? What I mean is, have you taken the time to step back, take a deep breath, look around, and just delight in the people and events in your life that make it so rich? If you are able to do that every once in a while, that in and of itself is a true gift. I don't know how I got to be so lucky - I'm so humbled by everything I've learned and experienced this school year and I almost have to laugh at the thought of the person I was last year!

Last year I thought I had the best plans for myself - get good grades, make the same kind of friends I had in high school, and just play by the rules. What a silly freshman I was... everything that has brought me to be who I am right now is such a whirlwind and sometimes, I can't even believe this is my life.

Get ready for the really sentimental, cheesy crap (oh shutup, you know you love it). The Lighthouse fall retreat changed my soul! I was not fully aware of the extent of this change until most recently. The nautical jargon has become everyday lingo for me. For this Lighthouse family, I'm eternally grateful. Every single person I've come to know from Lighthouse has been so unapologetically unique and true gifts in my life - each contributing something different, teaching me about themselves and even things I didn't know about myself. Around them - I feel safe, loved, and like I can do anything in the world -because if a storm tears me down, they'll be there rowing my boat when I can't or be the shining lighthouses to get me back on calm waters. This community has given me such an indescribable peace in my heart and taught me what true love is. And you know what else about my fellow Lighthousers? They don't play by the rules! My beautiful LH wife yelled "Go on Lighthouse retreat, the drunkest retreat on campus!" on St. Patrick's Day -- appropriate? Probably not. Embraced with love by LHers? Absolutely yes. I shared with team my fear of swiss cheese and holes and the fact that I used to play the accordion in 5th grade. Normal? No, freaking weird! Was I shunned? Of course not, it was like an open invitation for others to share their oddities and BE PROUD!

More than anything, Lighthouse has been a support system. Whether it's our 500th email - seriously, that chain has been going strong for 3 weeks now - encouraging text messages, stress-relieving movie nights (with ice cream of course!), lunch in KU, or random sleepovers... I feel like I have people to rely on, cry to, laugh with, and just enjoy and I hope that they find the same in me.

Life will continue to throw various curve balls - or as we Lighthousers like to call them - storms. But knowing that God is working through each of us to be safe harbors, lighthouses, and crew members for each other gives me the comfort and confidence that I can get through anything.

So what, I'm a Lighthouse junky? Who cares! I am loved. And guess what? You are too.