Surreal

Jann just left for class and I told her "See you later, I'm gonna go be productive" -- that productivity has turned into blogging. I don't hate it.

Well, there's no question about it anymore - it's fall through and through. The leaves are beautiful combinations of red, orange, and yellow; the sun is shining the perfect amount; and there's a pleasant breeze to maintain the ideal temperature. I can't stop smiling! How could anyone not be completely in love with this season? It's time for the change we all know will come - eventually the leaves will fall and it'll be that nasty "w" word (rhymes with "splinter") - but the turning of the seasons always seem to invite NEW experiences. There hasn't been a single fall that I haven't loved. Bring on the pumpkin flavored things, Halloween decorations, apple cider, and sweaters!

Somehow - I honestly don't know how I get so lucky sometimes - I had a busy two and a half weeks leading up to fall break and while those sucked, it let me leave my backpack, agenda, books, etc.. at school for the blissful 4 days away from campus. Besides enjoying the weather, I got to spend time with some of my best friends - Thursday night turned into a good old fashioned sleep over with a "B" theme: brats, beans, beer, Bridesmaids, all at the Biancone household. Driving home with the Gracie Wynne was just a delight, I looked over at her a few times during the drive to catch her smiling to herself, thinking out loud "How did we get so lucky?!" We really are the luckiest girls I know.

Upon arriving back in the 330 on Friday, I walked into my house to be surprised by something...this might sound a little "out there" but I'd bet money you've all experienced this. The house I grew up the first 18 years of my life in had a very distinct smell. To me, that smell was home and was not something I could find anywhere else - maybe you recognize that smell at your best friend's or Grandparent's house. Anyways, the house my family moved into the summer before my freshman year at Dayton smelled unlived in, unloved, like no memories were made there, and completely not like home. This break, I walked in to a familiar scent I had all but forgotten about - for the first time in the 2+ years of having Pine Hill as my address, it finally smelled like home. I couldn't help but smile and I know my mom was excited when I told her.

Another weekend at home = more laughs, like always. My brother won the chili cook off hosted by our aunt and uncle and I swear, he's still bragging about it (2 days later) - it wouldn't surprise me if he talked about it until next year. Bebe Abigail ALMOST started crawling...she wants to, she does! Next time I see her she'll be a force to be reckoned with - time to start baby-proofing the house! (Something I doubt this house has ever seen)

The biggest news of fall break was Sunday morning. At 8:10 am, I began my first ever half-marathon. I kind of knew I wanted to do one but one big paycheck in the summer convinced me to spontaneously sign up for the Towpath Half in Peninsula. Training was a mental battle and it's like they say, sometimes the hardest step is the one out the door. A 9-mile run the week before convinced me that I was ready and some advice from my campus minister helped me tackle the internal battles I would no doubt face. The first 8/9 miles were honestly a piece of cake. That sounds crazy, especially coming from someone who spent her whole life playing volleyball, DESPISING running. One minute, I was at the starting line, the next I was at mile marker nine, no joke! Mile 11 proved to be extremely difficult - physically, my body was on autopilot but mentally, I was getting bored, tired of running, and felt like the end was nowhere to be seen. It was! I told myself "If you finish 11 miles, there are only 2.1 miles left - that's the loop around campus you do on easy days!" Once I hit the 13 mile mark and knew there was only 0.1 miles left, I was ecstatic. Approaching the finish line there were signs that said "SMILE!" and "RUNNERS PREPARE TO FINISH!" and a group of boys (that I swear were angels in disguise) who yelled "GO UD!!" after seeing my shirt that said I <3 UD. Finishing was the coolest thing ever. My family and Gracie greeted me after and I was speechless, almost in tears when I hugged Grace! It was such a cool, personal experience and I'm so happy I did it. I let a lot go on that run and realized I'm stronger than I think I am. 13.1 miles is no walk in the park - and my body is feeling that today! - but it was so possible because I believed in myself and had the support and encouragement of people I love.

The countdown to Lighthouse is less than 2 weeks. Excitement is an understatement. It all started for me a year ago, it will definitely be bittersweet knowing this is the last time I will physically share the retreat with the 5 people I started with back in Fall 2010 but what a blessing it is to have shared it with such amazing people I now consider family.

I'm currently sitting on my balcony overlooking the beautiful Darkside. Pinch me, this can't be real life.

Do something you wouldn't expect yourself to do today. It's October 10th, go crazy! :)

Daily Belly Laughs

Maybe it's because team retreat left me with such JOY and peace in my heart that I can't find anything to be upset or stressed about or maybe it's the lack of sleep I've experienced in the past 2 weeks (let's be serious, all of college?) but I find myself laughing randomly, by myself, hysterically. Not just a small chuckle to myself, I'm talking like - belly laugh, you try and hold it in and you're afraid your throat might close up, shoulder-shaking, snorting, tears streaming out your eyeballs laughter. And let me tell you what, I definitely don't hate it. Even when I started such laughter in the middle of daily mass today surrounded by a few of my roommates (it's contagious, by the way) I couldn't stop, as hard as I tried - it's mass for goodness sake!! - but then I realized this laughter surely must be a gift from God. He's put some wonderful people and experiences in my life that bring such simple and pure happiness I can't help but laugh or at least SMILE about it! 

So even though I've been at the library studying for the past 3 hours, I'm still smiling randomly to myself. Although I'm trying to reign in the obnoxious laughter that makes me look like I’m convulsing, I can’t make any promises that I will be able to do so forever.

Challenge for today: find something that makes you laugh as hard as absolutely nothing and everything has done for me recently! Don’t be afraid to let your laugh be loud for all to hear (because it’s the best way to spread Fall cheer?) 

Middle Spoon

Trying to come up with a clever blog post title is about as hard as coming up with a photo album title on Facebook - you want it to be witty, but have people wondering "what is she talking about really?" here's your answer...I like being the middle spoon. Yeah, maybe now you're asking yourself "how often does Emily share a bed with two people let alone one other person?" - don't worry about it, it happens and when it does, I like to settle myself in right between whoever those bed-mates may be. If you or someone you know would like more information on cuddling or spooning, please refer to the following video:

Snugglefest

What have you been doing with yourself for the past 4 weeks? Dying for another blog post by Emily? I'd guess not. I haven't either. But I find myself wanting to share some recent adventures both in pictoral and word form...

Approximately 2 weeks ago, I participated in the Warrior Dash in Carrolton, Ohio with some pretty cool cats - pictured below. First of all, I think the Dash was the biggest thing that ever happened to that town because every hotel, gas station, and family restaurant had signs welcoming us. Second of all, pretty sure I ran through, swam in, then "bathed" in sewage...and LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. It really did smell somethin' terrible but that hour on the course was one of the most fun I've had in quite a long time. Every time I turned around, Grace was doin' her thang, running with a big ol' smile on her face. Between that sight and Antz asking before every hill (was the whole course a hill? felt like it!) "Emily are you going to make this hill your bitch?" the race was an event I will not soon forget. If it's on your bucket list - sign up for the Dash in the spring! If it's not on your bucket list, add it and cross it off ASAP! What other venue allows you to run a 5k with random climbing, ropes, balance, fire, and mud obstacles? Next time, we'll be able to use our beer chips and spend the day properly celebrating, until then....ARF.

Per the previous residents of 57 Woodland's advice, Jann and I have taken full advantage of sleeping on the balcony as much as we can. It may come as a surprise that there is a lack of bugs up there! The cool breeze, blue emergency light on the corner of Woodland and Alberta, and early morning traffic only add to the ambiance and each time we've slumbered out there I wake up thinking, "Is this really my life? I'm sleeping on the balcony of my house at UD" Never again will I have an experience like what I have this year living in that beautiful house, and I'm soaking in every minute of it! Not only is the house itself great, but the residents I share it with are pretty alright, too. I knew it was going to be great, but could not have anticipated so many hysterical, random nights of laughter but also be able to come together for early morning prayer in the middle of the week and be there to support and love each other. I'm truly blessed to live with 5 incredible women and I thank God everyday.

Lighthouse did make its grand return into my life a few weeks ago, and I find it hard to believe we're already 4 meetings in - going on team retreat this weekend! Basically, my heart might explode from happiness since I get to spend 48 hours at Governor's Island with 16 of my favorite people in the world. Planning retreat in the fall takes me back to a year ago - who I was before I went and who I am now because of Lighthouse. Gahh...I could go on for hours about how I can't believe how much has happened in the past year and how much I've learned and grown and loved but that would be boring and I'd be a broken record. To sum it up, I am - in a word - grateful. Plain and simple. Can't wait to see who shows up at Glen Helen ONE MONTH FROM THIS WEEKEND ;) Who will be my spouse? Who will be my children? What will theme be? Oh, the wonderful mysteries of Lighthouse.

Challenge for you today: go find out your spooning preference. You might not recognize it immediately, but after some investigation, you'll discover your favorite spot to sleep in. Oh, and listen to this. And this: Jann's Wedding Song

Living the Dream

Three months! That's roughly 12 weeks. Such adventures since May, where to even begin?

As one might guess, working 40 hours a week driving a golf cart around Medina with my best friend and college roommate was about as close to a dream as you can get and have it still be real life. From random extended breaks in the parking garage (that may have turned into brief naps) to making friends with the owners of Main Street Cupcakes and inventing the names of and dialogues between our coworkers - it was a summer job I'll soon not forget.

Working a full-time job means NOT working on the weekends, a luxury I have not experienced in a few summers and one that I took full advantage of. A five and a half hour road trip to Washington D.C. with five of my favorite people turned into a weekend full of memories, countless laughs, and ridiculous pictures to remind us of the fun we had. Another escapade to the hills of Appalachia, Kentucky resulted in some "firsts" - skinny dipping and sleeping in the Love Room of the UDSAP house to name a few...once again surrounded by some truly wonderful people. In between all of the fun, I got to spend an abundance of time with my family, specifically good ol' Meg. Jennifer Garner may have starred in the movie 13 Going on 30, but my sister, Megan, is the epitome of the phrase "13 going on 30" - seriously, what a piece of work! We got to be so close this summer, that was a true blessing. Two weeks in Dayton leading freshies around campus introducing them to the topic of vocation and all the splendor UD has to offer them was refreshing and a nice break from the monotony of a 7-3 job.

The Callings program also marked the beginning of the end and after another two weeks of watering flowers (SOLO - rough stuff!) and very good procrastination of the whole packing for school thing, I found myself back at UD for yet another year. It's been almost three weeks and I've loved every minute - no surprise there. Are there times when I still feel like a freshman and am confused when people look to me for answers? Yup. Do I still have to pinch myself every time I am sitting on one of our THREE porches? Absolutely, I don't think the reality of living in this beautiful house will ever fully sink in. Am I ready for the countless hours of studying that correspond with two semesters of organic chemistry? I guess we will find out. One thing is for sure, I am back to being comfortably myself without any expectations or plans for what's to come. Such freedom! Huge sigh of relief, this whole "letting go of control" thing sort of snuck up on me but let me tell you what, I don't hate it. Excitement is the understatement of the century to describe how I'm feeling about everything that's to come along with being a junior, living in this Marianist Student Community with my beautiful, goofy roommates, and being surrounded by the best friends a girl could ask for. Oh and taking classes might be kind of fun, too (especially considering my SOC 101 class is an LLC from the 6th floor of Marycrest aka 90% FRESHMAN BOYS. HA. Coug. It. Up.)

But really, I feel like I'm living the dream. Fully aware of it, completely grateful for it, can't wait to see what's next.

Also - If you're reading this and actually go to UD, it'd be really great if everyone could start spending more time at the Galley (aka the Gal as I lovingly refer to it as) - it's a little too empty for my liking and doesn't enable my people watching habits. What gives, guys?

(Made it through an entire blog post without mentioning Lighthouse - don't worry it will make its epic return to my life and blog August 31st)

On a scale of one to happy, I'm at University of Dayton :)
AAARF.

Do YOU Know How To Drive A Golf Cart?

Today, I am pretty sure that God smacked me upside the head after winding up for about, ehhh six months or so. And then He chuckled to himself about it. I couldn't even be mad. At one point I wanted to actually look up to the sky, wave my finger and say "You're a sneaky fella". Except my life is not a cheesy Nickelodeon tween sitcom so I didn't do that last part. But really, it was like lightbulbs were going off all around my head and God was sending signs left and right that - lo and behold - His plans aren't so bad and things really do work out. He's got the whole "master of the universe" thing figured out and He's got an interesting sense of humor, that's for darn sure.

Week three of being home for the summer and I finally feel settled and completely not at Dayton anymore. Adjusted, is the word I'd like to use. Although I feel as though I've created this alter ego for myself here in Medina; this Emily's room is always clean and organized, she makes lists in her head and then transfers them to post-it notes that decorate her mirror and desk. It's very Unibomber, I'm actually somewhat concerned for myself. But then I rationalized it in my head and this is why I have to be so neat and organized at home and not as much at school - no one is going to touch and move my stuff at school. If I set my keys on the counter in good old M15, I can rest assured that they will be in the exact same location the next time I need them. At Pine Hill, set your keys on the counter and you might not see them for a week. Not because it's ridiculously messy, just because someone thought it'd be a good idea to move them to another counter without mentioning it to the owner of the keys. (You can substitute anything you want for keys in this circumstance, by the way.) So needless to say I learned quickly to put important things in my room, neatly organized. Good Lord, I just re-read this paragraph and if I were reading and not writing this blog, I'd think I was special (eat glue special, not the regular kind of special). I'm blogging about being clean right now. No shame.

In other news, maybe you're wondering what the big lightbulb moment(s) were as mentioned in paragraph one above. And maybe now that I'll sort of explain, you'll be mad because I'm going to be as vague as possible...sorry I'm not sorry. Okay actually, I changed my mind as I started typing and erased three different sentences to start explaining. In a complete nutshell: 1) I was so afraid of having a simple conversation that would have been completely normal 2 years ago. Then today, like I said, God basically told me I was being an idiot for being so scared. In so many words, of course. But basically I felt very at peace with what I want to do and I am READY. Balls to the wall! 2) I read a book about love. I was hesitant to do so because as you may or may not be aware - 2011 is not the year for love. This is not a personal opinion, this is a universal truth. Okay so maybe not universal, but amongst my wide circle of friends, it's true! Anyways, the book just renewed my hope that there are goofy, smart, caring boys who will pursue the good girls in the right way and fight for what they want! Yeah guys, I'm aware it's just a character in a book, but Sarah Dessen doesn't write fluff okay!? DAVE IS REAL, I SWEAR.

Pretty sure I intended on going to bed at least 45 minutes ago. I am pleased to say that I finally start work tomorrow morning, 7 am! Does Medina Parks Department know what is coming with the dream team of Jann and I? 40 hours a week together for the next 2.5 months?! Look out. Medina, your flowers are about to get BFFL-fied. (Like a play on "beautified", in case that wasn't clear, I had high hopes for it but those crumbled once I typed it)

Until next time, go do something crazy. Such as watching a Sister Wives marathon on TLC.

A Year of Firsts

Last Wednesday marked the halfway point of my college career. I've been home for almost a week now, am still working on unpacking, and finally feel ready to write about the year that rocked my world. Oh, and I'm not in Daytona soaking up rays sipping Bud Light Lime on the beach with the rest of UD so I have time to blog in my room in tropical Medina. I'm not bitter! ;)

What a year it was! I learned, I laughed, I loved. (I came, I saw, I conquered?) So I thought what better way to reflect on the 2010-2011 school year than with a list of the things I did for the first time this year... here goes nothing!

1. Cried in front of people. This sounds so lame but that was a big thing for me! All part of the process of letting people in.
2. Went to Tim's. Will I become a Tim's rat next year? Only time will tell...
3. Said no to one good thing to make room for better things in my life. Freedom!
4. Enjoyed the robust flavor of Highlander Grogg coffee. I feel as though this delicious beverage is mentioned in all of my blogs but it's just so good. What was I doing with my life before coffee entered it?!
5. Lived fully in the moment - not all the time, but more than I ever have before. Everyday mantra: "Be where your feet are"
6. Watched Grey's Anatomy. Not only did I watch, I caught up with 7 seasons and became friends with the characters (don't judge!)... All the while I had my best semester grade-wise! Go figure!
7. Worked at 5 am every Friday. Awake at 4:45, roll out of bed, brush teeth, GO!
8. Took a Greyhound. First and last time I'll ever do that.
9. Went to Chicago!
10. Pulled an all-nighter. Relax, I wasn't doing homework...it was Harry Potter 7 premiere night!
11. Baptized someone, I didn't even know I could do that. What a cool moment to share with such a beautiful friend of mine :)
12. Loved. Completely, unapologetically, wholeheartedly. Gave and received it.
13. Drove a UD van.
14. Went 4 days without a shower. I was at the UDSAP house, it's okay!
15. Had friends turn into true family right before my eyes over the course of the year.
16. Had a wife. No biggie.
17. BFFL Breakfast
18. Lived at KU.
19. Lighthouse. And everything that went along with it :)
20. Became Auntie Em!

Such beautiful experiences. Such an unforgettable year. So much to look back on, so much to look forward to! What adventures will be next? Who knows, but I'm more than excited to see what's to come and embrace life with open arms. Hope you are too!

It's the moments that count...

Well, it's Monday morning and - like always - this break from school flew by. Granted, I spent a good chunk of time doing schoolwork (that seemed near impossible! I blame my environment) but the majority of my long weekend was spent laughing with family and friends. And now I'm stepping back to just smile at how lucky I am to be surrounded by so much love and fun.

It's hard to know what to expect when I come home from breaks; I feel like I'm constantly changing and evolving at school, even if it's just internally, and there are only a handful of people who actually see that - my family is not within that handful. Two years into college and I'm only now realizing how different that is from the first 18 years of my life (uhhh durrrr!). When I'm home, I like to do a lot of observing instead of contributing to conversations -- don't get me wrong, I don't become a mute (I'm still Emily!) -- but it's interesting to see what things are important enough to discuss in depth or even argue about. So different than at school! I've pretty much given up on trying to explain Lighthouse and its effects on me, the family and friends at home do understand that it's a HUGE deal to me, but obviously, they'll never get all the intricacies and details and nautical jargon that go along with it. We all have different experiences, so this summer it's my goal to really work on listening to the people around me and hearing about the things that have and continue to shape them.

I had a great time back in good old Medina. I got to spend lots of time with my dad - who, by the way, is still trying to convince me to switch to an engineering degree... I think not! But hanging out with Papa Mike was really great, he's a real hoot. Same goes for Mama Kyle and the rest of the family, always a joy. Andy was missed this weekend, like always, but the emails, Facebook chats, and phone calls bring us as close as can be while still being halfway around the world from each other.

For whatever reason, the evening of Easter is always spent with my best friends. This really has happened since junior year of high school (Desten formation night, holla!) and I don't really know the significance this night but it always ends up being the simplest kind of hang out. We don't turn on the TV, no one has their cell phones fiendishly texting away, we don't even have food! (this year at least, other years are another story -- puppy chow is usually on the menu) We just sit around talking about anything and everything and always end up laughing until we cry, pee our pants, our throats close up, etc. Maybe it has something with the joy of the holiday, God has His hand working through our little group reuniting us and refreshing our friendship that spends 9 months of the year physically separated by hundreds of miles. All I know is I'm so grateful to have such beautiful women in my life and it brings me such comfort to know that no matter where I go, what I do, how I change, I can always come home to those three girls and know that I'm loved.

It's a well-known fact that THE song of Easter in Catholic churches is "Jesus Christ is Risen Today"...you know the one. I know you love it, too. You've probably started to sing it as you're reading this right now. It's become something my dad and I look forward to every year for Easter mass and I'm always afraid when we sing it I'll look over at him and just bust out laughing. Anyways, I love my church, really I do. But when they started singing the Hallelujah Chorus at the end of mass instead of me and Papa H's favorite hymn, you can imagine my disappointment and frustration -- they already sang that at Christmas! What about the people who only come to mass for Christmas and Easter!? They will think the choir has run out of songs in their repertoire and I'm sure they look forward to hearing "Jesus Christ is Risen Today" as much as I do! Granted, the family had a good laugh about this, but rest assured I came right home and blared that song on YouTube so it echoed through our house. We all sang. We're a weird bunch, us Haschers.

Back to the grind - hard to believe I will be officially halfway through my college career in just a week and a half. Leaving Dayton will be bittersweet this year, I feel like I'll be saying goodbye to my family and home for three months...I have the best friends at school, too. So blessed, all the time.

10 things I love about today

10) Well, it's Wednesday. Those have never failed to be my favorite day of the week this semester.
9) I woke up this morning from the deepest sleep. My first thought? "I'm going home today"
8) The toaster was working at the Runway again... Hello, toasted turkey and gouda on sourdough, I've missed you.
7) My lunch date and I took creeping to a whole new level. I'll leave it at that.
6) Ironic pen pal emails. Pretty sure we're on the same brain wavelength.
5) Normalcy where I was afraid it might not be. Praise the Lord, literally.
4) Letting go, letting God.
3) Perfect amounts of cream and sugar in my large Highlander Grogg, today. (1 thing I hate -- I'm facing the next five days without this new obsession, how will I ever survive!?)
2) New Toms! Stonewashed yellow, perfect for summer.
1) I'm about to spend more than 36 hours at the lovely Pine Hill for the first time in three months.

Find something to love and smile about today! It's the little things that count ;)

This is my life!

The Heart of Life is Good

Shake the Dust

I don't really know what this poem means, but I know it's beautiful and powerful and needs to be shared! His voice is like a song that I want to keep listening to over and over again until I know the words by heart and can breathe them like an N'SYNC jam I somehow can sing along to years after learning. Wonderful.

What are you doing today that you can knock off your bucket list? Buying a monkey? Learning French? Think about it. Then get off your butt and go do it! 

Tonight's challenge: Dance hard and be completely free in your own skin. 

Here's to throwing out the rule book...

Five days ago, I had the privilege of participating in the University of Dayton's Relay for Life, during which I walked from the hours of 5 and 7...AM. Sounds miserable, I know, and you're probably thinking "Who in their right mind would sign up for those hours?" This crazy lady right here. And you know what? Thank goodness I did. Those two hours walking alone, chatting it up with the Big Man Upstairs were exactly what I needed to clear my head and heart. The thoughts and ideas that flooded my head during that stretch of walking were comparable to some one might have in the shower - and we all know the best thinking is done in the shower ;) One of my ideas? Starting a blog. Here we go!

Have you ever been completely aware of the blessings in your life? What I mean is, have you taken the time to step back, take a deep breath, look around, and just delight in the people and events in your life that make it so rich? If you are able to do that every once in a while, that in and of itself is a true gift. I don't know how I got to be so lucky - I'm so humbled by everything I've learned and experienced this school year and I almost have to laugh at the thought of the person I was last year!

Last year I thought I had the best plans for myself - get good grades, make the same kind of friends I had in high school, and just play by the rules. What a silly freshman I was... everything that has brought me to be who I am right now is such a whirlwind and sometimes, I can't even believe this is my life.

Get ready for the really sentimental, cheesy crap (oh shutup, you know you love it). The Lighthouse fall retreat changed my soul! I was not fully aware of the extent of this change until most recently. The nautical jargon has become everyday lingo for me. For this Lighthouse family, I'm eternally grateful. Every single person I've come to know from Lighthouse has been so unapologetically unique and true gifts in my life - each contributing something different, teaching me about themselves and even things I didn't know about myself. Around them - I feel safe, loved, and like I can do anything in the world -because if a storm tears me down, they'll be there rowing my boat when I can't or be the shining lighthouses to get me back on calm waters. This community has given me such an indescribable peace in my heart and taught me what true love is. And you know what else about my fellow Lighthousers? They don't play by the rules! My beautiful LH wife yelled "Go on Lighthouse retreat, the drunkest retreat on campus!" on St. Patrick's Day -- appropriate? Probably not. Embraced with love by LHers? Absolutely yes. I shared with team my fear of swiss cheese and holes and the fact that I used to play the accordion in 5th grade. Normal? No, freaking weird! Was I shunned? Of course not, it was like an open invitation for others to share their oddities and BE PROUD!

More than anything, Lighthouse has been a support system. Whether it's our 500th email - seriously, that chain has been going strong for 3 weeks now - encouraging text messages, stress-relieving movie nights (with ice cream of course!), lunch in KU, or random sleepovers... I feel like I have people to rely on, cry to, laugh with, and just enjoy and I hope that they find the same in me.

Life will continue to throw various curve balls - or as we Lighthousers like to call them - storms. But knowing that God is working through each of us to be safe harbors, lighthouses, and crew members for each other gives me the comfort and confidence that I can get through anything.

So what, I'm a Lighthouse junky? Who cares! I am loved. And guess what? You are too.